Tuesday, 19 July 2011


What does being free in school mean? It means being yourself. Being your own. It's all part of growing. It means not being forced or pressured to do things you wouldn't normally do. But "freedom is not cheap". It takes a big heart to be free.

It’s a big problem for many young people growing up to get acceptance from their peers and to be free at the same time. I mean being free to be yourself. It's hard to make good freinds when you feel like a hypocrite pretending to be who you honestly are not. Sure you might have people you call friends, but a lot of young people eventually end up feeling lonely and ignored for most of their high school and college days and when they get noticed it's not for who they really are.

You may have friends, but really they came out of the saying: “when the desirable becomes unavailable, the available becomes desirable”. Sometimes you may feel like you cannot be yourself and have "popular" friends at the same time - that there are things you would have loved to do but you can’t really do them with the friends you have right now.

Having to be cruel to people at school because you are afraid of becoming a victim yourself is very common. But gathering the courage to stand out in your clique by doing what is right and treating people with respect means that you are growing. It's not easy to decide to stand out but in the end, you find it was all worth it.

SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO REALISE - Advice for the Mr. and Ms. Unpopular
I want to give you some useful insights as to why people perceive you the way they do. You see we usually perceive discrimination as an evil thing. That it’s all that has gone wrong with the world. This might be the case; might be true, but it’s also a part of our lives. And when I talk about, “its also a part of our lives” I’m not referring to some people or a certain group of people but I’m referring to all of us including you. Don’t turn the page on me yet, just hear me out first and you’ll see that I’m making a good point.

When you walk into a store for instance, it takes you a while, whether a few seconds or half an hour, to pick out the clothes you’re going to spend your money on. Eventually you pick the clothes that in your opinion are the nicest looking clothes you can afford. My point is that you choose some clothes over others. You discriminate. When you’re talking with a girl, your tone or attitude is in one way or another different from when you talk with a guy. You would definitely treat President Obama differently if you met him today than if you had met him a few years before he became president of the United States. How people treat things is simply based on how they are made to perceive those things. Discrimination is simply a statement of nature telling you that you are perceived in this way compared with how someone else is perceived. Expecting people not to discriminate is like expecting them not to recognize the difference between two different people. The simple truth is that discrimination exists and we use it in our daily lives. I don't think it's a good thing when people are hurt because of discrimination, I'm just saying that this is why you are accepted by one clique and not the next.

WHAT IT TAKES TO TURN THE TABLES - Some More Advice for the Mr. and Ms. Unpopular

SO HOW CAN YOU GET ACCEPTANCE? This is pretty straightforward. You simply need to change a few things about yourself. I know you would like to stay original and at least hold on to some dignity and pride but the fact is that you don’t need to loose your originality or become a sell-out to make these changes. I call it improving the original. You know, gold is gold whether it’s still in the ground or mined, refined and polished, but I bet you would like the gold/platinum-diamond ring you get married with shiny and freshly polished. What I’m saying is that, be that gold ring, but be a shiny and freshly polished gold ring. Here are some things that might be putting people off that you might not have realized just yet. Some may apply to you others may not, but simply take what lessons you can and use them to help you make the right changes.

You might be too moody
People might find that you have a very interesting personality and would like to hang around you but when you are moody all the time or at least most of the time it tends to be a turn-off. Being moody does not really come from a natural introvert tendency but rather too much worrying about too many things. What this means is that you can be someone who tends to quietly ponder over things and this is not the same thing as being moody. You may be under a lot of pressure to do well in your academics, to impress your peers or to do some other thing. Those pressures do come however worrying about them doesn’t help. The simple tip to get rid of moodiness is “JUST RELAX!!!”. Obviously those things you feel anxious about are important to you enough to be sure that you will put in all the effort you can to come out successful. So don’t worry! Your best comes out when you aren’t worrying anyway, so why worry. JUST RELAX AND KNOW THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT JUST FINE…no matter what that thing is.
You might not dress decently or rather nicely enough
I once heard something I think is very true: “how you dress determines how you are addressed”. You shouldn’t dress shabbily. Take care in your choice of clothes especially when you are leaving the house. You’ll be surprised how dressing good all the time can improve self-esteem. It’s a good way to take care of yourself. As to the exact dress code, I suggest the simple theme, “I respect myself but I never over do it.” Its beautiful and helps a lot. Also remember to be confident and comfortable in your clothes. Make sure you look nice in your clothes. and remember more than just the clothes it is you people will meet, so be comfortable and confident in yourself.
You might not be practicing good personal hygiene-lol
If you have bad breath, that’s definitely something you need to get rid of. Bad breath is a terrible turn-off. The problem a lot of people have with this point is how exactly does one find out whether or not one has bad breath. Well usually when you don’t thoroughly wash your mouth after you’ve had a meal, you would likely get bad breath. By washing your mouth, I’m not talking about having a drink with the actual meal. I’m talking about washing with at least water, that is, for convenience sake: you could also use mouth wash. Drink water often enough; whenever you can. Apart from the fact that it takes away bad breathe, it’s also good for your general health.

Please wear clean clothes. It lets you feel fresh. It will show in your attitude.
You might be suffocating people
Trying too hard to please people whose approval you really want can be a big obstacle to actually getting and keeping their approval. As much as you want their approval they also need to breathe. In other words, people do need some space. Don't be too proud and don't try too hard either. Afterall they are just human being like you with very similar insecurities. Eventually as your relationships get closer, they would be happy to have you around most of the time. Your life shouldn’t revolve around others’.
You might need to boost your self-confidence
Timidity is a turn-off for most people. Don’t be insecure. You must realise that most people you are afraid of are really hollow on the inside. Treat everybody with respect and your confidence will come from within and not from the approval of others.